Safety first...baby proofing

Just wanted to write a little blog today on baby proofing.  When a baby is on her way to begin crawling is when the "oh shoot" (or something like that :) ) moment happens.  You suddenly realize that your home is not ready for the small hands and mouths of babes.

My hubby immediately went to Babies R Us and spent way way too much on safety items.  Drawer locks, cabinet latches, baby gates, outlet covers, sharp corner bumper pads for the fireplace and coffee table and the list goes on and on.  Really...we spent way too much.  And had many returns and exchanges along the way too. Some of these purchases have come in very handy and I would recommend highly; others not so much.  Many of the items just didn't work well enough and some just destroyed the furniture/cabinets.

I would recommend highly baby gates for all rooms that you want off limits to the wee one.  We like best the baby gates that screw in to the door frame and can latch and swing open with the use of only one hand.  You will find that when you have a baby, you pretty much need to be able to accomplish tasks with one hand a lot of the time.  These also work great for keeping a baby IN a safe room too! For the holidays I suggest getting the extension play yard type safety gate to go around the Christmas tree.  After the holidays, I took sections (since it comes apart in sections) and literally strapped it onto the bottom of our bookcase so she couldn't climb or get to my books.  It worked great.

Also recommended highly is all corner bumpers for brick fireplaces and sharp tables.  This is mostly needed during the "Look Ma, no hands!" stage of learning to walk.  We prevented numerous could-have-been-bad moments having our brick hearth padded during this stage.

In the kitchen, we did end up using the drawer locks on our important drawers..knife drawer, junk drawer and silverware drawer.  We still have these on because now at two is when she is very curious and tall enough to look inside the drawers. We ended up having to use the latches that stick onto the front of the drawer which does pull off the paint when you take them off and honestly they still aren't totally great, but it was the only kind that would work for our drawers.  Try different ones on yours to get the best one you like before you buy enough for all your drawers.  This includes on your dressers..anything that she can climb by pulling open drawers. Strapping to the wall all tall cabinets, bookcases and dressers is important too if you have a climber baby, to prevent the furniture from falling over on him.

 As for the cabinets, which ours have simple round knobs on...we tried a few safety latches and none really worked that well.  So what we did was go to an office store and buy the big fat rubber bands and we just put three rubber bands from one knob to the next one on facing cabinet doors...in an x.  It works amazingly and cost less than two dollars for all of them! She still can't get into any of the cabinets, maybe if she really wanted to now she could, but the rubber bands have been there so long she doesn't even try any more.  Now this was a huge money saver!

Another rigging that worked great for just pennies and no damage to the furniture:  we have a very nice hutch that has sliding glass doors. We could not find any safety latches that worked without damaging my expensive piece of furniture to prevent her from sliding the doors open and getting to my nice glassware inside.  What we finally found to use, suggested by a very wise friend, is a simple spring tension curtain rod.  I put one at the top of each sliding door to prevent it from sliding open and they work great! Easy for me to remove to get inside the cabinet too.

Now we don't have stairs in our house, but for those who do...please, please, please put gates at the top and the bottom of your stairs.  I have seen more babies, including mine, tumble down a flight of stairs.  It is the scariest thing in the world and causes a lot of serious injuries every day.   I even know of a baby who took a tumble down a flight of stairs while in a walker (which are not recommended to ever use for babies any more), luckily he was fine with the exception of a pretty big knot on his head.

When a baby is walking great and becoming more curious I would also recommend having a locksmith come in and put an out of reach deadbolt on all exterior doors.  When toddlers get close to two they want to go outside on their own; it is better to be safe than sorry and have your two year old walking down the street or into traffic.  For screen doors my hubby attached a simple hook and eye latch lock on our sliders at the top and it works great to keep her from opening the doors when just our screen doors are closed.

Of course, one of the most basic and most important...outlet covers.  Babies do and will stick things into your outlets.  This one is simple and cheap.  The simple kind that just push into the outlet work great.  For outlets used often I suggest getting the outlet covers that turn so you can still use the outlet easily.

Good luck on baby proofing your house.  Remember: This too shall pass.  Before you know it, most of these things can be taken down and you can put all your breakables, magazines and books back on your tables and in your bookcases.  Now at two, I am slowly intergrading my nice decor back into my living space hoping that she won't notice and want to play with them.

This too shall pass

"This too shall pass."

If I was a more profound person this would be my daily mantra during my daughter's babyhood and toddlerhood.  But what I find myself really saying all day long is "oh, come on!" with my fully exasperated and tired voice.

This daily mantra started soon after my wonderfully easy daughter turned four months old when I realized that she will NOT sleep thru the night...ever.  Up until then, I had expected her to wake up every few hours to feed.  But once I moved her to her own room, tucked her in tight on her back and kissed her good night, I had hoped that she would at least sleep longer in between waking until eventually she slept all through the night.  Not so much.  Even now, over two, the second I fall into a deep sleep she wakes me up calling for me.  Oh come on!

During daytime, at first I would find myself exclaiming my mantra on our daily walks as she would throw her baby overboard, then her shoes, then her socks, then her bottle, then her snack, then her baby again, then her bottle again, and so on.  After about 19 months the tossing on the ground of everything did get better, especially when I told her that if it went on the ground she wasn't getting it back until we got home.  For the most part, this worked.  A suggestion I have to help new mom's from this frustration...is too attach everything to the stroller.  I don't care how you do it, just do it.  I don't know if it will work or not, but it is worth a try.  One thing that is a must, is if you bring a toy or dolly on the walk make sure it is big and brightly colored.  It is amazing to me how often something has gotten tossed overboard and I walked right over or past it until my wee one pointed out to me that the object of her love and devotion was gone.  ugghh! Oh come on!  I can't even count the number of times I have backtracked to find the missing loved one.  Including our walk today, this time it was her shoe.

Should I even mention the period from 8 months until 18 months during mealtimes and the number of times I would find myself exclaiming my mantra as she tossed food on the floor, spit it out, or just flat out cleared off the highchair or table top in one big swipe.

As all mom's know, we find ourselves exasperated numerous times throughout the day and night. Wishing ourselves to have more patience, more sleep and more control over what comes out of our mouths.  In reality, there is not a lot we can do other than try.  Try to have more patience, more sleep (it would help if I really did nap when she did), and try to have more control over our mouths.

I will say, that as the two year mark passes, it does get easier.  Sometimes the attitude from the wee ones are more frustrating because now they really do know what they are doing and saying, and will do it just to get your reaction.  But overall, life has gotten easier, more relaxed, less frustrating, less exhausting. After all, we do want them to be independent and have their own thoughts...right?

How can you love someone so much that can drive you so crazy at times? We punish ourselves when we have negative things escape our lips, when we get exasperated, when we want to walk away..even for a minute. We tell ourselves that we should and could handle our reaction better, after all they are just a baby and they don't know what they are doing.  We remind ourselves that the loves of our lives are just trying to figure this whole life thing out too. But what we really have to work on is allowing ourselves to not be the perfect Mommy, at least not all the time.  Give ourselves a break every now and then too.

No one ever said that being a parent was going to be easy, they only said that it was worth it.  And it is.  When my daughter tells me "Mommy, I love you.  You are very nice." like she did yesterday, it is all worth it.

Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I don't know how or when you broke into my house, but I would greatly appreciate it if you brought my body back.  The one you left for me to use just isn't working. Definitely not the body that I would have chosen for myself had you so nicely given me the choice.

I preferred my pre-forty body much better.  I find that with this new fortysomething body, I creak when I get out of bed in the morning, my back is stiff, my teeth aren't white,  I have lost all the color in my lips, my knees ache, my hair is dull and honestly, I am not too crazy about this fun new grey highlight you have added.  The worst aspect of my new body is that I barely recognize it any more.  Have you changed the gravitational pull of Earth recently?  Some things (I won't go into specifics because I think you know), are just not where they should be.  Is it my mirror or did you do this?  You know, everyone is stating that "forty is the new thirty"now... maybe you hadn't been made aware of this yet.

I understand that you are busy with an ever growing population and with the ozone depletion problem and all, but did you have to get nasty about the whole thing?  It seems you are angry with everyone who has reached middle age.  I know that at our age we "should know better" on certain decisions we make about the Earth and our bodies, but there is no reason to punish all of us for the few who act the worst.

I personally have always done my best to be kind to both the Earth and to my body.  I exercise daily, get my teeth cleaned, take care of my skin and hair, have solar panels on my house, own a hybrid car, recycle, and walk when I can, rather than drive. What else can I do to get back on your good side?  I even hop up on my soapbox every now and then hoping to convince others to stop messing up your artwork with plastic surgery, botox and lip injections.  I have always preached the virtue of growing old gracefully and letting Mother Nature...you...take your course (excluding hair color).  Am I not earning any brownie points at all?

Again, I know you are busy, but I would really appreciate it if you would just review my case.  Maybe you gave me the wrong forty year old body.  I think you may have mixed mine up with someone else.  If you could be so kind to give me a better one as soon as possible I would forever be in your debt.  If you don't have a spare, I will be happy to take my thirtysomething body back.

Thank you for your time and consideration.  Have a nice day.

xo,
fortysomething Mommy

Advice for pregnant or new Mommies, re:CRIBS, BABY CLOTHES

CRIBS & BEDDING

CRIBS:  This is all personal preference but let me tell you one thing.  We bought a convertible bed.  A crib that transforms into a toddler bed then a full size bed.  I regret that for a couple reasons:  #1 It was expensive and when my daughter started teething she bit the crap out of it so now it has teethmarks and scratches all over the parts that are supposed to be the big bed some day. #2 I don't like it anymore and want a cuter big bed for her. But since it was expensive, my hubby is not giving in very easy to us getting a new bed.  So my advice...buy a cute, safe, inexpensive crib and spend the bucks on a real cute bed after you transition your little one around age 3.  Also, when your wee one does move to a full size bed, don't be cheap when you buy her/him the mattress.  This is probably something they will be sleeping on for at least 10 years so get a well made, supportive, comfortable mattress.  One that you will want to sleep on; because at some point you probably will. Also, don't forget the wee-wee mattress protector for your little wee one!

CRIB SHEETS:  I like the Koala brand of everything.  Gerber brand (including clothes) shrink horribly!  Koala has soft and well made sheets that don't shrink.

BUMPERS AND CUTE BLANKETS:  Save your money as you shouldn't use them anyway.  I would recommend getting a mesh bumper pad though.  It is baby safe in case they roll into it they can still breathe. You do want something around the crib railings because when she starts rolling over, arms and legs do get out and get stuck between the rails.  And it is not wise to use ANY blankets until a baby can easily sit up by themselves. I know you will have friends or moms telling you that they used blankets/bumpers without incident, but don't ignore what the experts are saying NOW.  Is the cuteness of a matching bumper and blanket set worth the risk?   Until your bundle of joy is old enough,  use only  sleeper sacks and pjs.  Which brings me to my next thought:  Sleeper sacks and pjs.


SLEEP SACKS AND PJ'S

This again in personal preference, and you will get a bunch of different kinds as gifts so you can test each style out for yourself.  But this is what we learned:

PJ's come in either snaps or zippers.  Almost all zipper pj's zip from the neck down, so to change your bundle of joy you will have to unzip her all the way, letting cold air in, to get her legs free to change the diaper.  We preferred the pj's with snaps.  Then you can just unsnap the leg area, and change diaper keeping baby warm.  However, when they get to be around a year and like to undress themselves, the zippers are easier because they are harder to figure out.  But any zipper pj's...make sure that they have a little strap that snaps over the top at the zipper to prevent pinching chins and they are harder for the wee one to undo and undress.

And of course a couple years away...but for size 2T or larger..forget the zippers all together and get only the two piece pj's.  Once they start potty training, you need it quick and easy for them to pull down their own pants.  As cute as the footsy pjs are at this age, don't bother.

Sleep sacks are great rather than the dreaded blankets for an infant.  But like the pj's you get, buy the kind that the zipper starts at the bottom of the sleep sack.  If you get the ones that zip from the neck down, again you will let a bunch of cold air in since you have to open it up all the way. And yes, the sleep sack does go over the pajamas.  I spent many sleepless nights at first worried if my little one was too cold or too hot.  I just kept our house temp at around 68 degrees at night, put her in a onesie, pj and a sleeper sack.  All season appropriate in weight and she seemed to sleep well.  Your little one will let you know if they are comfortable; if she wakes up a lot she may be too cold or if she is sweaty she is too hot.  All babies are different.  You will figure it out.


As for onsies, the Carter onesies are the best!  I pretty much love Carter clothes hands down as the base of her wardrobe.  They are great; hold their size and colors.  Once they hit, 18 months or whenever they start potty training, if the weather is such that you want your little one to still wear an under layer, I cut off the bottom of the onesie and made it into a little undershirt.  Worked great and no extra money spent.


PANTS...JEANS VS. ELASTIC WAISTS

First, all pants for a baby under 1 yr HAVE to have snaps at the crotch & legs, otherwise don't bother.  Easier for changing.  And I prefer the elastic waist yoga pants only.  All the jeans that we have had since day one have never fit right, the waist is always way to big, the crotch too long and the legs to short. Period.  Also the material of any stiff type pant is not soft to baby.  I would bypass all jeans until they are at least 2 or 3.

And once they start potty training they can really only wear clothes they can pull off themselves to make it easier for them to go when they need.  If right now you are thinking that this is not necessary since you will help them get undressed to pee-pee during the training period, a word of advice: when in training and they realize that they need to "go" they mean that they need to go NOW.  You will have very limited time to get their pants down and your little squirter on the potty seat, so I really suggest to go with elastic waist pants or dresses for girls.


DRESSES


Dresses are great too.  But dress your girls in dresses only before crawling and after they walk.  Skip the crawling period.  It is too tough on them.  No padding on the knees and they constantly "trip" over their dress when crawling.  I would stick to pants during their crawling stage.


SHOES

Don't bother. They will take off their shoes and socks until they can walk anyway.  And when they do this, they throw them on the ground while you are strolling and you are constantly losing them or bending over to pick them up.  Becomes a source of frustration.  But since realistically you will get them shoes and they will need socks, be sure to get super soft bottom soles for pre-walkers or just let them walk in socks or barefoot.  Rumor has it that this is better for the learning process anyway.  Don't let your mom talk you into the sturdy shoe types that we all wore as babies, times have changed. 


P.S.


Oh, one more thing.  When you are registering for baby gifts before your baby showers,  have a friend who is a parent already look over your list before you publish it.  At least regarding the necessity items.  There is a whole bunch of great things in the stores now, but you don't need as many gadgets as you think you do.  


Also, ask present givers to include a gift receipt with any presents.  In case you get multiples of the same gift and want to return or exchange it for something else you need, I know that many stores, including Babies r Us, changed their policy last year and will not take any returns without a receipt, not even for store credit.  You will get stuck with your multiples.

Have fun shopping and playing dress up!  

Leaving On a Jet Plane

I admit it, I was one of those people, pre-child, who prayed that I would not get stuck sitting next to the baby or toddler who was waiting to get onto the same flight as me. As soon as I saw the little sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker in the waiting area, my stomach would drop and I would immediately go over my list of all the good and bad karma things that I had done recently hoping that the good out-weighed the bad.  On boarding the airplane, I would find my seat and watch as the brave parent and sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker entered, willing them to walk by my row and breathing a sigh of selfish relief when they did. And now that little troublemaker is mine.

When getting on a flight now,  I pray that my sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker will fall asleep for the whole flight and be an angel.  I actually go as far as booking a seat at the very back of the plane so at least if she is unsettled no one will know where the noise is coming from.  I know...but I get embarrassed easily.    In theory, I have never been one who is opposed to "drugging" the child  with tylenol or benadryl to help the flight, but so far I can't bring myself to give it to my own child unless she actually needs it for teething or an earache. However, for those who have used it to get through a flight, no judgement from me.  As long as the baby is safe from harm, anything that helps has my blessing.

For the most part I have been lucky, my daughter has been amazingly good and has played or slept quietly through many flights since she was born. I have always been on pretty short flights and always non-stops.  I had had it easy and situation free on these flights until she turned one, when apparently my good karma  ran out, and I got some payback.  She cried for an entire two hour flight. Poor thing, it was horrible.  I had not been able to get her to drink her bottle upon take-off and her ears bothered her the entire flight. It is amazing how unforgiving people are on a plane. Most glare at you like you are really enjoying yourself and aren't stressed at all. Like you are pinching the baby to make her cry just to ruin their flight. And then the nicer people give you the look of "I have been there myself" or "you poor thing."  You smile apologetically back at them but what you really want is for someone to come over and take the baby for a while so you can get a break.   After all, they really can't go anywhere with the baby, so what's the harm?  Okay, not realistic but a nice thought.

Since that day I had sworn off traveling with my little sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker by air until she turned at least five. Of course this was just a pipe dream since she has family on the East coast who she was destined to meet sooner than later.  My husband and I held off for as long as somewhat polite until after she turned two then we put on our bullet proof vests, packed our "mean people" shields and headed to the airport for a six hour flight.  We had been given some great advice from fellow Gluttons-for-Punishment and hoped for the best.  Most ideas worked and then one huge one backfired.  Thank God for the bullet proof vests.  Unfortunately the one that backfired was my own idea so I can't even blame anyone else for our misery.

The ones that worked:

1. Pack a lot of snacks.  Toddlers get fickle when caged and a choice of food is a good thing.

2. Let them run off energy at the airport prior to boarding.  This is great and does help them to expel some energy before the cage match begins.  Of course, your fellow passengers will see this wild child and  fear will fill their eyes.  Watch how many lose all the blood in their faces when they realize that this child who is running around and climbing on everything is on their flight.  Kind of a fun past time.

3.  Talk to the child if they are older than one and explain to them proper airplane etiquette.  No kicking the seat in front of them, no standing to make faces at the person in back of them, no throwing anything, no screaming, crying, whining and to please use their spa voice.  Another pipe dream I know.

4.  Have with you a handful of small presents.  Something that will entertain them for a while.  Give them one before take off, then every hour or so from then.  Or any time they get restless.  This is the best advice.  It really works.

5.  Most importantly for all children too young to chew gum or make themselves yawn, make sure they are drinking something they have to suck during take-off and while gaining altitude.  This will prevent their ears from getting injured.

The ones that would help if someone in power would just do them:

1.  SOMEONE PLEASE BUILD AN INDOOR PLAYGROUND AT THE AIRPORT!  It amazes me that they have them in malls but no one has decided to put one in an airport.  What better way to let a child expel pent up energy before the flight than a playground?   If there is an airport that has one, let me know and that will be my destination from now on.

2.  Real changing stations in the airplanes.   I mean REALLY?  Have the  airplane designers tried to change a baby in one of those bathrooms?  How about adding a changing area in the back row of the plane?  Help us out people!

The one that backfired:

1. Scheduling the flight during their nap time.  I thought this was brilliant: my toddler would be tired within an hour after take-off and fall asleep.  No such luck.  What happened instead was that I had a very  tired baby who couldn't fall asleep and was cranky, restless, and indeed a sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker for the entire flight.  Finally passing out just before we landed, which made walking through the airport tough and getting the luggage even worse.  

The best advice? Fly before they are 9 months old and after they are five.  Nothing in between.  If you chose not to heed this advice, good luck.