"How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but to be someone."
-- Coco Chanel

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Safety first...baby proofing

Just wanted to write a little blog today on baby proofing.  When a baby is on her way to begin crawling is when the "oh shoot" (or something like that :) ) moment happens.  You suddenly realize that your home is not ready for the small hands and mouths of babes.

My hubby immediately went to Babies R Us and spent way way too much on safety items.  Drawer locks, cabinet latches, baby gates, outlet covers, sharp corner bumper pads for the fireplace and coffee table and the list goes on and on.  Really...we spent way too much.  And had many returns and exchanges along the way too. Some of these purchases have come in very handy and I would recommend highly; others not so much.  Many of the items just didn't work well enough and some just destroyed the furniture/cabinets.

I would recommend highly baby gates for all rooms that you want off limits to the wee one.  We like best the baby gates that screw in to the door frame and can latch and swing open with the use of only one hand.  You will find that when you have a baby, you pretty much need to be able to accomplish tasks with one hand a lot of the time.  These also work great for keeping a baby IN a safe room too! For the holidays I suggest getting the extension play yard type safety gate to go around the Christmas tree.  After the holidays, I took sections (since it comes apart in sections) and literally strapped it onto the bottom of our bookcase so she couldn't climb or get to my books.  It worked great.

Also recommended highly is all corner bumpers for brick fireplaces and sharp tables.  This is mostly needed during the "Look Ma, no hands!" stage of learning to walk.  We prevented numerous could-have-been-bad moments having our brick hearth padded during this stage.

In the kitchen, we did end up using the drawer locks on our important drawers..knife drawer, junk drawer and silverware drawer.  We still have these on because now at two is when she is very curious and tall enough to look inside the drawers. We ended up having to use the latches that stick onto the front of the drawer which does pull off the paint when you take them off and honestly they still aren't totally great, but it was the only kind that would work for our drawers.  Try different ones on yours to get the best one you like before you buy enough for all your drawers.  This includes on your dressers..anything that she can climb by pulling open drawers. Strapping to the wall all tall cabinets, bookcases and dressers is important too if you have a climber baby, to prevent the furniture from falling over on him.

 As for the cabinets, which ours have simple round knobs on...we tried a few safety latches and none really worked that well.  So what we did was go to an office store and buy the big fat rubber bands and we just put three rubber bands from one knob to the next one on facing cabinet doors...in an x.  It works amazingly and cost less than two dollars for all of them! She still can't get into any of the cabinets, maybe if she really wanted to now she could, but the rubber bands have been there so long she doesn't even try any more.  Now this was a huge money saver!

Another rigging that worked great for just pennies and no damage to the furniture:  we have a very nice hutch that has sliding glass doors. We could not find any safety latches that worked without damaging my expensive piece of furniture to prevent her from sliding the doors open and getting to my nice glassware inside.  What we finally found to use, suggested by a very wise friend, is a simple spring tension curtain rod.  I put one at the top of each sliding door to prevent it from sliding open and they work great! Easy for me to remove to get inside the cabinet too.

Now we don't have stairs in our house, but for those who do...please, please, please put gates at the top and the bottom of your stairs.  I have seen more babies, including mine, tumble down a flight of stairs.  It is the scariest thing in the world and causes a lot of serious injuries every day.   I even know of a baby who took a tumble down a flight of stairs while in a walker (which are not recommended to ever use for babies any more), luckily he was fine with the exception of a pretty big knot on his head.

When a baby is walking great and becoming more curious I would also recommend having a locksmith come in and put an out of reach deadbolt on all exterior doors.  When toddlers get close to two they want to go outside on their own; it is better to be safe than sorry and have your two year old walking down the street or into traffic.  For screen doors my hubby attached a simple hook and eye latch lock on our sliders at the top and it works great to keep her from opening the doors when just our screen doors are closed.

Of course, one of the most basic and most important...outlet covers.  Babies do and will stick things into your outlets.  This one is simple and cheap.  The simple kind that just push into the outlet work great.  For outlets used often I suggest getting the outlet covers that turn so you can still use the outlet easily.

Good luck on baby proofing your house.  Remember: This too shall pass.  Before you know it, most of these things can be taken down and you can put all your breakables, magazines and books back on your tables and in your bookcases.  Now at two, I am slowly intergrading my nice decor back into my living space hoping that she won't notice and want to play with them.

Friday, May 14, 2010

This too shall pass

"This too shall pass."

If I was a more profound person this would be my daily mantra during my daughter's babyhood and toddlerhood.  But what I find myself really saying all day long is "oh, come on!" with my fully exasperated and tired voice.

This daily mantra started soon after my wonderfully easy daughter turned four months old when I realized that she will NOT sleep thru the night...ever.  Up until then, I had expected her to wake up every few hours to feed.  But once I moved her to her own room, tucked her in tight on her back and kissed her good night, I had hoped that she would at least sleep longer in between waking until eventually she slept all through the night.  Not so much.  Even now, over two, the second I fall into a deep sleep she wakes me up calling for me.  Oh come on!

During daytime, at first I would find myself exclaiming my mantra on our daily walks as she would throw her baby overboard, then her shoes, then her socks, then her bottle, then her snack, then her baby again, then her bottle again, and so on.  After about 19 months the tossing on the ground of everything did get better, especially when I told her that if it went on the ground she wasn't getting it back until we got home.  For the most part, this worked.  A suggestion I have to help new mom's from this frustration...is too attach everything to the stroller.  I don't care how you do it, just do it.  I don't know if it will work or not, but it is worth a try.  One thing that is a must, is if you bring a toy or dolly on the walk make sure it is big and brightly colored.  It is amazing to me how often something has gotten tossed overboard and I walked right over or past it until my wee one pointed out to me that the object of her love and devotion was gone.  ugghh! Oh come on!  I can't even count the number of times I have backtracked to find the missing loved one.  Including our walk today, this time it was her shoe.

Should I even mention the period from 8 months until 18 months during mealtimes and the number of times I would find myself exclaiming my mantra as she tossed food on the floor, spit it out, or just flat out cleared off the highchair or table top in one big swipe.

As all mom's know, we find ourselves exasperated numerous times throughout the day and night. Wishing ourselves to have more patience, more sleep and more control over what comes out of our mouths.  In reality, there is not a lot we can do other than try.  Try to have more patience, more sleep (it would help if I really did nap when she did), and try to have more control over our mouths.

I will say, that as the two year mark passes, it does get easier.  Sometimes the attitude from the wee ones are more frustrating because now they really do know what they are doing and saying, and will do it just to get your reaction.  But overall, life has gotten easier, more relaxed, less frustrating, less exhausting. After all, we do want them to be independent and have their own thoughts...right?

How can you love someone so much that can drive you so crazy at times? We punish ourselves when we have negative things escape our lips, when we get exasperated, when we want to walk away..even for a minute. We tell ourselves that we should and could handle our reaction better, after all they are just a baby and they don't know what they are doing.  We remind ourselves that the loves of our lives are just trying to figure this whole life thing out too. But what we really have to work on is allowing ourselves to not be the perfect Mommy, at least not all the time.  Give ourselves a break every now and then too.

No one ever said that being a parent was going to be easy, they only said that it was worth it.  And it is.  When my daughter tells me "Mommy, I love you.  You are very nice." like she did yesterday, it is all worth it.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I don't know how or when you broke into my house, but I would greatly appreciate it if you brought my body back.  The one you left for me to use just isn't working. Definitely not the body that I would have chosen for myself had you so nicely given me the choice.

I preferred my pre-forty body much better.  I find that with this new fortysomething body, I creak when I get out of bed in the morning, my back is stiff, my teeth aren't white,  I have lost all the color in my lips, my knees ache, my hair is dull and honestly, I am not too crazy about this fun new grey highlight you have added.  The worst aspect of my new body is that I barely recognize it any more.  Have you changed the gravitational pull of Earth recently?  Some things (I won't go into specifics because I think you know), are just not where they should be.  Is it my mirror or did you do this?  You know, everyone is stating that "forty is the new thirty"now... maybe you hadn't been made aware of this yet.

I understand that you are busy with an ever growing population and with the ozone depletion problem and all, but did you have to get nasty about the whole thing?  It seems you are angry with everyone who has reached middle age.  I know that at our age we "should know better" on certain decisions we make about the Earth and our bodies, but there is no reason to punish all of us for the few who act the worst.

I personally have always done my best to be kind to both the Earth and to my body.  I exercise daily, get my teeth cleaned, take care of my skin and hair, have solar panels on my house, own a hybrid car, recycle, and walk when I can, rather than drive. What else can I do to get back on your good side?  I even hop up on my soapbox every now and then hoping to convince others to stop messing up your artwork with plastic surgery, botox and lip injections.  I have always preached the virtue of growing old gracefully and letting Mother Nature...you...take your course (excluding hair color).  Am I not earning any brownie points at all?

Again, I know you are busy, but I would really appreciate it if you would just review my case.  Maybe you gave me the wrong forty year old body.  I think you may have mixed mine up with someone else.  If you could be so kind to give me a better one as soon as possible I would forever be in your debt.  If you don't have a spare, I will be happy to take my thirtysomething body back.

Thank you for your time and consideration.  Have a nice day.

xo,
fortysomething Mommy