Advice for pregnant or new Mommies, re:CRIBS, BABY CLOTHES

CRIBS & BEDDING

CRIBS:  This is all personal preference but let me tell you one thing.  We bought a convertible bed.  A crib that transforms into a toddler bed then a full size bed.  I regret that for a couple reasons:  #1 It was expensive and when my daughter started teething she bit the crap out of it so now it has teethmarks and scratches all over the parts that are supposed to be the big bed some day. #2 I don't like it anymore and want a cuter big bed for her. But since it was expensive, my hubby is not giving in very easy to us getting a new bed.  So my advice...buy a cute, safe, inexpensive crib and spend the bucks on a real cute bed after you transition your little one around age 3.  Also, when your wee one does move to a full size bed, don't be cheap when you buy her/him the mattress.  This is probably something they will be sleeping on for at least 10 years so get a well made, supportive, comfortable mattress.  One that you will want to sleep on; because at some point you probably will. Also, don't forget the wee-wee mattress protector for your little wee one!

CRIB SHEETS:  I like the Koala brand of everything.  Gerber brand (including clothes) shrink horribly!  Koala has soft and well made sheets that don't shrink.

BUMPERS AND CUTE BLANKETS:  Save your money as you shouldn't use them anyway.  I would recommend getting a mesh bumper pad though.  It is baby safe in case they roll into it they can still breathe. You do want something around the crib railings because when she starts rolling over, arms and legs do get out and get stuck between the rails.  And it is not wise to use ANY blankets until a baby can easily sit up by themselves. I know you will have friends or moms telling you that they used blankets/bumpers without incident, but don't ignore what the experts are saying NOW.  Is the cuteness of a matching bumper and blanket set worth the risk?   Until your bundle of joy is old enough,  use only  sleeper sacks and pjs.  Which brings me to my next thought:  Sleeper sacks and pjs.


SLEEP SACKS AND PJ'S

This again in personal preference, and you will get a bunch of different kinds as gifts so you can test each style out for yourself.  But this is what we learned:

PJ's come in either snaps or zippers.  Almost all zipper pj's zip from the neck down, so to change your bundle of joy you will have to unzip her all the way, letting cold air in, to get her legs free to change the diaper.  We preferred the pj's with snaps.  Then you can just unsnap the leg area, and change diaper keeping baby warm.  However, when they get to be around a year and like to undress themselves, the zippers are easier because they are harder to figure out.  But any zipper pj's...make sure that they have a little strap that snaps over the top at the zipper to prevent pinching chins and they are harder for the wee one to undo and undress.

And of course a couple years away...but for size 2T or larger..forget the zippers all together and get only the two piece pj's.  Once they start potty training, you need it quick and easy for them to pull down their own pants.  As cute as the footsy pjs are at this age, don't bother.

Sleep sacks are great rather than the dreaded blankets for an infant.  But like the pj's you get, buy the kind that the zipper starts at the bottom of the sleep sack.  If you get the ones that zip from the neck down, again you will let a bunch of cold air in since you have to open it up all the way. And yes, the sleep sack does go over the pajamas.  I spent many sleepless nights at first worried if my little one was too cold or too hot.  I just kept our house temp at around 68 degrees at night, put her in a onesie, pj and a sleeper sack.  All season appropriate in weight and she seemed to sleep well.  Your little one will let you know if they are comfortable; if she wakes up a lot she may be too cold or if she is sweaty she is too hot.  All babies are different.  You will figure it out.


As for onsies, the Carter onesies are the best!  I pretty much love Carter clothes hands down as the base of her wardrobe.  They are great; hold their size and colors.  Once they hit, 18 months or whenever they start potty training, if the weather is such that you want your little one to still wear an under layer, I cut off the bottom of the onesie and made it into a little undershirt.  Worked great and no extra money spent.


PANTS...JEANS VS. ELASTIC WAISTS

First, all pants for a baby under 1 yr HAVE to have snaps at the crotch & legs, otherwise don't bother.  Easier for changing.  And I prefer the elastic waist yoga pants only.  All the jeans that we have had since day one have never fit right, the waist is always way to big, the crotch too long and the legs to short. Period.  Also the material of any stiff type pant is not soft to baby.  I would bypass all jeans until they are at least 2 or 3.

And once they start potty training they can really only wear clothes they can pull off themselves to make it easier for them to go when they need.  If right now you are thinking that this is not necessary since you will help them get undressed to pee-pee during the training period, a word of advice: when in training and they realize that they need to "go" they mean that they need to go NOW.  You will have very limited time to get their pants down and your little squirter on the potty seat, so I really suggest to go with elastic waist pants or dresses for girls.


DRESSES


Dresses are great too.  But dress your girls in dresses only before crawling and after they walk.  Skip the crawling period.  It is too tough on them.  No padding on the knees and they constantly "trip" over their dress when crawling.  I would stick to pants during their crawling stage.


SHOES

Don't bother. They will take off their shoes and socks until they can walk anyway.  And when they do this, they throw them on the ground while you are strolling and you are constantly losing them or bending over to pick them up.  Becomes a source of frustration.  But since realistically you will get them shoes and they will need socks, be sure to get super soft bottom soles for pre-walkers or just let them walk in socks or barefoot.  Rumor has it that this is better for the learning process anyway.  Don't let your mom talk you into the sturdy shoe types that we all wore as babies, times have changed. 


P.S.


Oh, one more thing.  When you are registering for baby gifts before your baby showers,  have a friend who is a parent already look over your list before you publish it.  At least regarding the necessity items.  There is a whole bunch of great things in the stores now, but you don't need as many gadgets as you think you do.  


Also, ask present givers to include a gift receipt with any presents.  In case you get multiples of the same gift and want to return or exchange it for something else you need, I know that many stores, including Babies r Us, changed their policy last year and will not take any returns without a receipt, not even for store credit.  You will get stuck with your multiples.

Have fun shopping and playing dress up!  

Leaving On a Jet Plane

I admit it, I was one of those people, pre-child, who prayed that I would not get stuck sitting next to the baby or toddler who was waiting to get onto the same flight as me. As soon as I saw the little sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker in the waiting area, my stomach would drop and I would immediately go over my list of all the good and bad karma things that I had done recently hoping that the good out-weighed the bad.  On boarding the airplane, I would find my seat and watch as the brave parent and sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker entered, willing them to walk by my row and breathing a sigh of selfish relief when they did. And now that little troublemaker is mine.

When getting on a flight now,  I pray that my sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker will fall asleep for the whole flight and be an angel.  I actually go as far as booking a seat at the very back of the plane so at least if she is unsettled no one will know where the noise is coming from.  I know...but I get embarrassed easily.    In theory, I have never been one who is opposed to "drugging" the child  with tylenol or benadryl to help the flight, but so far I can't bring myself to give it to my own child unless she actually needs it for teething or an earache. However, for those who have used it to get through a flight, no judgement from me.  As long as the baby is safe from harm, anything that helps has my blessing.

For the most part I have been lucky, my daughter has been amazingly good and has played or slept quietly through many flights since she was born. I have always been on pretty short flights and always non-stops.  I had had it easy and situation free on these flights until she turned one, when apparently my good karma  ran out, and I got some payback.  She cried for an entire two hour flight. Poor thing, it was horrible.  I had not been able to get her to drink her bottle upon take-off and her ears bothered her the entire flight. It is amazing how unforgiving people are on a plane. Most glare at you like you are really enjoying yourself and aren't stressed at all. Like you are pinching the baby to make her cry just to ruin their flight. And then the nicer people give you the look of "I have been there myself" or "you poor thing."  You smile apologetically back at them but what you really want is for someone to come over and take the baby for a while so you can get a break.   After all, they really can't go anywhere with the baby, so what's the harm?  Okay, not realistic but a nice thought.

Since that day I had sworn off traveling with my little sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker by air until she turned at least five. Of course this was just a pipe dream since she has family on the East coast who she was destined to meet sooner than later.  My husband and I held off for as long as somewhat polite until after she turned two then we put on our bullet proof vests, packed our "mean people" shields and headed to the airport for a six hour flight.  We had been given some great advice from fellow Gluttons-for-Punishment and hoped for the best.  Most ideas worked and then one huge one backfired.  Thank God for the bullet proof vests.  Unfortunately the one that backfired was my own idea so I can't even blame anyone else for our misery.

The ones that worked:

1. Pack a lot of snacks.  Toddlers get fickle when caged and a choice of food is a good thing.

2. Let them run off energy at the airport prior to boarding.  This is great and does help them to expel some energy before the cage match begins.  Of course, your fellow passengers will see this wild child and  fear will fill their eyes.  Watch how many lose all the blood in their faces when they realize that this child who is running around and climbing on everything is on their flight.  Kind of a fun past time.

3.  Talk to the child if they are older than one and explain to them proper airplane etiquette.  No kicking the seat in front of them, no standing to make faces at the person in back of them, no throwing anything, no screaming, crying, whining and to please use their spa voice.  Another pipe dream I know.

4.  Have with you a handful of small presents.  Something that will entertain them for a while.  Give them one before take off, then every hour or so from then.  Or any time they get restless.  This is the best advice.  It really works.

5.  Most importantly for all children too young to chew gum or make themselves yawn, make sure they are drinking something they have to suck during take-off and while gaining altitude.  This will prevent their ears from getting injured.

The ones that would help if someone in power would just do them:

1.  SOMEONE PLEASE BUILD AN INDOOR PLAYGROUND AT THE AIRPORT!  It amazes me that they have them in malls but no one has decided to put one in an airport.  What better way to let a child expel pent up energy before the flight than a playground?   If there is an airport that has one, let me know and that will be my destination from now on.

2.  Real changing stations in the airplanes.   I mean REALLY?  Have the  airplane designers tried to change a baby in one of those bathrooms?  How about adding a changing area in the back row of the plane?  Help us out people!

The one that backfired:

1. Scheduling the flight during their nap time.  I thought this was brilliant: my toddler would be tired within an hour after take-off and fall asleep.  No such luck.  What happened instead was that I had a very  tired baby who couldn't fall asleep and was cranky, restless, and indeed a sure-to-be-crying-troublemaker for the entire flight.  Finally passing out just before we landed, which made walking through the airport tough and getting the luggage even worse.  

The best advice? Fly before they are 9 months old and after they are five.  Nothing in between.  If you chose not to heed this advice, good luck.

Scary Creepy but Amazing

When my daughter was at the early point in her life when she developed true love for her baby dolls, we made an amazing discovery that I now could not live without.

This accidental discovery came in the form of creepy scary clowns.  At least I find them creepy and scary.  But my daughter found the the love of her life in a little clown with big blue eyes, a red nose and overalls with the name of Gymbo.  Many of you Moms and Dads will know exactly who I am talking about.  Gymbo is the mascot for the Gymboree classes that you can take your wee ones to.  (On a side note, I totally recommend Gymboree for the first year of the child's life.  The babies love the sing-a-longs and the playtime with peers.) 

Now Gymbo himself is not the discovery he was just the catalyst. The discovery came about when my little one wanted to take Gymbo everywhere she went.  She loved playing with him in her room, taking him on our walks, hugging him, reading him books, and taking him in the car for outings.  Everywhere.  So being the supportive Mommy I am, we would not leave the house without him.  At least not until Daddy decided to get funny.  

Every since the 1988 scary movie "Child's Play" came out I have not been a big fan of clowns, especially not ones that actually look like Chucky.  But for my daughter, I would suck it up.  My husband would tease me every time I called Gymbo "scary creepy clown" and eventually he took it too the next level. I would turn around and Gymbo would be standing up behind me, or sitting at the table looking at me, or maybe even in the shower when I opened the door to get in.  Not funny.  But to my husband it was hilarious.   So being the supportive Mommy I am, but one who can only take so many heart attacks, I banned Gymbo from the house.  To appease my daughter's crying, I declared that Gymbo was now allowed only in the car.  We needed him to guard the car, this would be his new job.  

THIS was our amazing discovery.  Since she could only see Gymbo whenever we went in the car, she was thrilled anytime we had to drive somewhere.  No more crying or fits, no more taking off her clothes or shoes right when we were getting ready to leave, no more delaying the process.  Now I was thrilled.  My life just got easier.  So easy, I soon added Gymbo to our walks.  

I strongly suggest this to all new parents.  Take your little one's 2nd favorite dolly or lovey, not the most favorite...that they need all the time, and make it your car buddy.  It will make life easier.  However, maybe stay away from dolls that scare you. 

Gymbo is still not allowed in the house, it is hard enough when I run an errand without my daughter and I look in the rearview mirror and see HIM sitting in her car seat looking back at me.  

40

If "40 is the new 30", I wish that someone would tell Mother Nature.  

Mommy Zombie

Yes, that's right...Mommy Zombie.  The walking tired.

Symptoms of a Mommy Zombie:
1. Creaky bones followed by a couple of moans as you are trying to get out of bed.
2. Hair that doesn't even rate on a "bad hair day" scale.
3. Inability to focus, smile, blink, talk, or to walk without tripping.
4. Loss of muscle control, memory, and patience.
5. A desperate need for caffeine or chocolate. Whichever is the first thing found, even if you have to rip it out of the hands of the first person who crosses your path (hey, at least it is better than eating the victim like most zombies).

Not a pretty sight.  I feel for my daughter who has to see me like this on occasion.  Of course it IS her fault.

Okay, let's be fair.  I have to take a good chunk of the blame. Fine...most of it.  She is just a baby and  I am the person who failed miserably in the art of sleep training.  I tried.  I tried desperately to not go into her room in the middle of the night when she would cry.  I would lie in bed and do a check list with my husband...not hungry..check, not thirsty...check, dry diaper...check, not cold..check, not hot...check.  I knew she was okay, I knew she was in need of nothing, yet I just couldn't lie there and not go in to let her know that I was near.

I know that there are differences of opinion on sleep training methods, all the way to none at all.  I personally do believe in the method that you go in at first when the baby starts to cry, then make the time further and further apart until  eventually she will not wake up in the middle of the night at all.  It is a couple of hard nights when you don't go in at all, but it really does work.  It did for us...until she would get a cold and since we would check on her often when she was sick, we would have to start the process all over again.  Not fun.

All was going fine until she started talking.  It was really hard to not go in to let her know I was near when she was actually calling "Mama".  Broke my heart, so I caved.  Then exhaustion for both my hubby and I hit (did I mention that I have a GREAT husband and he really does do 50% of all the work with me) and we would start again with the sleep training.  Again, we repeated the cycle of it working and then my or his giving in and going into her room.  Let's face it, we were awake the second she made a noise anyway and it would shorten the length of time we had to be awake if we just went in. Okay fine...she controlled our every wink of sleep.

Now at two, not only is she calling my name, she very specifically says "Mommy I'm awake.  Mommy please come back. Mommy, I have to pee pee."  How can you not?   Potty training just added to the delimma.   And although she is in pull ups at night and I do somewhat limit her liquids before her bedtime, if you gotta go, you gotta go.  What's a gal to do?

So here it is, another morning of Mommy Zombie and the only cure is caffeine and a hot shower.  Now if only I could get the faucet on.

When you were single, did you ever think Peeing would be a topic of conversation with your friends?

This is the question: Can a parent get arrested  if their child is peeing in a public park?  Does it count as indecent exposure if the bare butt in question belongs to a two year old?  

Potty training...no one ever said it was going to be easy.  

Let me start at the beginning.  After receiving unsolicited advice from a complete stranger, (just why this woman decided to stop me in the middle of my ice cream cone when my daughter was only a year old to tell me this, I will never know...maybe it goes back to the theory that everyone in my Mom's generation swear that we were all potty trained by the time we were only one.),  I went to the toy store and bought a bath dolly as directed. 

Up until this moment, my wee one would sit on her potty seat to read a book, wear her potty seat cushion on her head or stuff her "babies" in the hole, but the actual peeing in the potty seat was still on the back burner.  After getting this bath dolly, I have to admit, things did get better.  My wee one would take a bath with "Bubbles"  who would fill up with water and after the bath we would sit Bubbles on the potty and squeeze her tummy to make her pee.  Soon my daughter got the idea and the potty training officially started.  After that, other than the middle of the night wake up to "Mommy,  Pee-Pee!", the rest was down hill.  Or so I thought.

At 22 months she began to wear big girl panties.  Which brings me to the fun part.  Every day we take our 3.5 mile walk and go to the park.  After this hour walk, my daughter inevitably has to pee.  So being the supportive Mommy I am, not to mention the desire to not go back to the use of diapers, I would find a big tree at the park in a discreet area and whip down her panties and hold her up so she could pee in nature the same way our ancestors did.  This, she mastered in no time.  Unfortunately, instead of this being used for only emergency pee-pee needs, this became something that my daughter actually looked forward to.  On more than one occasion she has run over to a tree and stripped naked before I could get my fortysomething legs to catch up with her.  Okay, so a bit embarrassing, but I can look at the strangers at the park and smile and tell them that she is only two so it is cute, right?

Until last week when we did our normal walk, our normal request to pee pee, me whipping down her pants and instead of the tinkle that I normally hear hitting the grass, I heard a THUD.  Oh sh*t.  Now THAT is not cute.  Thank goodness I did have a baggie with me in the stroller and just like any good dog owner, I did the poop-n-scoop.  So this is a my next question...can a person get arrested if their child defecates in a public park?  If so, I am going to start saving my bail money now.  

Advice for pregnant Mommies, re: STROLLERS

For the soon to be Mommies out there, a bit of advice based on my experience:

STROLLERS 101:
Stollers...you will need four. Yes, FOUR. :) One to keep unfolded in the garage for daily walks..should be a jogger type stroller. One for secondary car (normally the Daddy's), can be a very simple stroller because it will be rarely used but believe me you will want it in his car if you happen to take his car and forget to transfer the stroller from yours. One in your car..this is the main one but this will not be used until the baby is about 6 months old and is supporting herself pretty well. Before that you will need just a SNAP N' GO to be used with the baby's car seat. Don't let anyone talk you into a car seat that comes with a big obnoxious stroller...they are WAY TOO BIG!..aka "Travel System Stollers".

Garage stroller: since this one will stay unfolded in the garage and used often it can be as big and cushy as you want. The main very important thing that I will tell you with a jogger stroller is make sure that the foot support for the baby completely covers the front tire. Let me tell you why....because a jogger will last from birth until the no longer get into a stroller and as they get taller (at about 1 1/2) they like putting their feet on the wheel making it impossible to push. It becomes a huge frustration for you and a fight for you and your toddler. Fortunately our jogger stroller...well we got lucky because ours is fully covered, but I have a couple of friends whose wheel does show and it is a constant battle with the toddler. Not fun for Mommy. :) Our stroller is a "Babytrend Jogger" brand and is great. Not expensive, lighter weight, but not totally easy to fold up...hence, keep it open in the garage for daily walks. Also, get one with a big moveable canopy to protect baby from sun on walks. Some canopies are locked in place and that is not good on any stroller.


For your main "family" car, get one the is EASY to fold and unfold with one hand. This is how you will be most of the time. It needs to be super comfy for baby but have a BIG basket, cup holder, and key holder area for you. Trust me on this, you will hate a small basket...this is where the baby bag and your purse, and the kicked off shoes and socks, thrown out toys....will go. Not only a big basket, but one that is easy to access. Some I have seen are big but way under the stoller and really hard to get your diaper bag out. Test this when you are shopping. Stuff a diaper bag super full and try to get it in and out.


But remember for the first few months you need only a SNAP n' GO. You will use this stroller during the time that the baby stays in the car seat when you remove him from the car. But register for the other anyway so someone else will buy it for you. :)


When at the store, spend time to play with them. Get a doll from other area of store, and a diaper bag and try taking things in and out. Also remember, you want a place to put your drink, cell phone and keys. Also, make sure it has a tray for baby to have drink and food too!

Have fun shopping!

Where do I begin?

Hello, welcome to my blog.

That was easy. Almost a no brainer on where to begin. Now comes the hard part: who am I and why am I writing this blog? After all I have never even read a blog before. Well other than my hubby's blog about training for an Iron Man competition. Although I am pretty savvy on my computer and internet skills, I couldn't even tell you where to start to look for a blog. So I am just hoping that someone out there finds mine.

All my life I have been the person that my friends come to for advice or just to vent. From work, to relationships, and now to parenting. No reason for this, I think I listen well and have pretty solid words of wisdom on occasion. Of course, this wisdom has come in the form of solicited and unsolicited advice when I just couldn't keep my opinion to myself.

I am pretty much a type A personality with a bit of type B thrown in for good measure. For this blog I am hoping to write some basic and practical advice on being a Mommy and what makes life a bit easier when you are one. After all, we Moms, and Dads, have to stick together or we may never make it out of parenthood alive. At the very minimum we should set a goal of getting through parenthood with our sanity and our physical well being in tact. Maybe even with a bonus of keeping our mental youth (we can't do much about our physical youth) and our independent spirit alive as well. But then, come to think of it, none of us will really get out of parenthood alive as once you are in the club you don't get out until you die. Okay, so let's just focus on making the most of everyday as a parent. One of the hardest, under-appreciated and the most amazing jobs in the world.

I am still very much at the beginning of parenthood; my daughter is only 2 years old. But keep in mind the title of my blog... "fortysomething Mommy" meaning that I do have a few years of knowledge behind me. With age does indeed come wisdom. The wisest thing to remember is that we learn every day, none of us will ever know everything, so a bit of information from others is always a good thing.

Why did I choose to write a blog? Well, I was giving some advice to my cousin who is pregnant with her first child and I was telling her about strollers, actually I emailed her a pretty in depth explanation of how many and what features on a stroller to look for. She wrote back laughing about how detailed I was in my email and told me to start a blog. So I am.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy, feel entertained and get a bit of good advice or guidance as well.