"How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but to be someone."
-- Coco Chanel

Monday, April 12, 2010

Mommy Zombie

Yes, that's right...Mommy Zombie.  The walking tired.

Symptoms of a Mommy Zombie:
1. Creaky bones followed by a couple of moans as you are trying to get out of bed.
2. Hair that doesn't even rate on a "bad hair day" scale.
3. Inability to focus, smile, blink, talk, or to walk without tripping.
4. Loss of muscle control, memory, and patience.
5. A desperate need for caffeine or chocolate. Whichever is the first thing found, even if you have to rip it out of the hands of the first person who crosses your path (hey, at least it is better than eating the victim like most zombies).

Not a pretty sight.  I feel for my daughter who has to see me like this on occasion.  Of course it IS her fault.

Okay, let's be fair.  I have to take a good chunk of the blame. Fine...most of it.  She is just a baby and  I am the person who failed miserably in the art of sleep training.  I tried.  I tried desperately to not go into her room in the middle of the night when she would cry.  I would lie in bed and do a check list with my husband...not hungry..check, not thirsty...check, dry diaper...check, not cold..check, not hot...check.  I knew she was okay, I knew she was in need of nothing, yet I just couldn't lie there and not go in to let her know that I was near.

I know that there are differences of opinion on sleep training methods, all the way to none at all.  I personally do believe in the method that you go in at first when the baby starts to cry, then make the time further and further apart until  eventually she will not wake up in the middle of the night at all.  It is a couple of hard nights when you don't go in at all, but it really does work.  It did for us...until she would get a cold and since we would check on her often when she was sick, we would have to start the process all over again.  Not fun.

All was going fine until she started talking.  It was really hard to not go in to let her know I was near when she was actually calling "Mama".  Broke my heart, so I caved.  Then exhaustion for both my hubby and I hit (did I mention that I have a GREAT husband and he really does do 50% of all the work with me) and we would start again with the sleep training.  Again, we repeated the cycle of it working and then my or his giving in and going into her room.  Let's face it, we were awake the second she made a noise anyway and it would shorten the length of time we had to be awake if we just went in. Okay fine...she controlled our every wink of sleep.

Now at two, not only is she calling my name, she very specifically says "Mommy I'm awake.  Mommy please come back. Mommy, I have to pee pee."  How can you not?   Potty training just added to the delimma.   And although she is in pull ups at night and I do somewhat limit her liquids before her bedtime, if you gotta go, you gotta go.  What's a gal to do?

So here it is, another morning of Mommy Zombie and the only cure is caffeine and a hot shower.  Now if only I could get the faucet on.

3 comments:

  1. It will get better. And I was with you, I was never capable of letting my kids cry themselves to sleep. I was of the opinion that during evolution, infants and young children always slept near or with their mothers. It's only been in the last few hundred and only in certain cultures that we put the kids in a separate room and told the they should be okay by themselves.

    They cry for a reason and just because the reason is that they want to be with a parent doesn't mean it's not valid. Think about it, these little people are incapable of surviving without protection.

    Being alone in a room is probably pretty scary sometimes. Okay, I'm off my soapbox now. Just saying the need to cave to their crying is instinctive and there for a reason!

    Even so I craved sleep and my hubby did not do 50% of the work because I breast fed. My kids are 9 and 7 and my hubby and feel like we are still tired. We've never recovered, ever. LOL

    All that said, I don't think our bodies are set up to start parenting in our late 30's/early 40's. I think younger parents actually recover from sleep deprivation!

    Our foreparents had older kids at home who'd go to the crying baby! They always say the older kids raise the younger ones.

    Certainly was like that in my family.

    Food for thought. Take a nap.

    Signed,
    Sleepy in Tacoma

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  2. Sleeping a bit better now she is 7April 12, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    Hi,
    I can totally relate to this blog. You do have to follow your heart and your instincts when tending to you child. I applaud your efforts and thinking things thru again again. These are many of the sacrifices we make with so much love for our children.. Sometimes we feel like they will be little forever, just start buying Kleenex on sale now when you move her into her dorm at college.

    Sleeping a bit better now she is 7.

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  3. My dear you are just in training for when she is 16 years old and staying out on a date to late...:)

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